Good Ragnarok to You
As you may know, my one-hour live comedy special JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK debuts TODAY 6/20 on Netflix in the US, Canada, the UK, and Scandinavia.
When we shot RAGNAROK last December, we were very lucky to receive from Empire Mayonnaise of Brooklyn many custom jars of John Hodgman Brand SURVIVAL MAYONNAISE.
(To find out why hoarding mayonnaise in your doomsday bunker is at least as essential as hoarding urine, you may watch RAGNAROK tomorrow. Instructions on watching may be found here: bit.ly/JHragnarok)
Currently, there are only SIX REMAINING JARS in my survival mayonnaise cache, and starting tomorrow I will give away FIVE OF THEM, signed and numbered, to the humans who submit to me THE MOST EMBARRASSING SCREEN CAPS OF ME AND MY HIDEOUS NECK MEAT.
I will give away one jar each for each fifth of the program’s running time—that is to say, one for the first 12 minutes, another for the second 12 minutes, and so on. SO PLEASE SHOW YOUR TIME.
Simply post your screencaps (one per person please) to the major social medias and tag them #RAGNAROK, and I will monitor and share the most awkward and insulting images of my own face.
Then stop posting your screencaps at noon on Friday, because that is when I will stop looking at them.
Then I will choose and contact the winners and send them mayonnaise in the regular mail, unless I can get Kevin Costner to dress as a postman and ride it over to your house on a mule, which would be my preference.
GOOD HUNTING, and GOOD RAGNAROK EVE TO YOU ALL.
That is all.
Good Ragnarok to You
As you may know, my one-hour live comedy special JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK debuts TODAY on Netflix in the US, Canada, the UK, and Scandinavia.
When we shot RAGNAROK last December, we were very lucky to receive from Empire Mayonnaise of Brooklyn many custom jars of John Hodgman Brand SURVIVAL MAYONNAISE.
(To find out why hoarding mayonnaise in your doomsday bunker is at least as essential as hoarding urine, you may watch RAGNAROK tomorrow. Instructions on watching may be found here: bit.ly/JHragnarok)
Currently, there are only SIX REMAINING JARS in my survival mayonnaise cache, and starting tomorrow I will give away FIVE OF THEM, signed and numbered, to the humans who submit to me THE MOST EMBARRASSING SCREEN CAPS OF ME AND MY HIDEOUS NECK MEAT.
I will give away one jar each for each fifth of the program’s running time—that is to say, one for the first 12 minutes, another for the second 12 minutes, and so on. SO PLEASE SHOW YOUR TIME.
Simply post your screencaps (one per person please) to the major social medias and tag them #RAGNAROK, and I will monitor and share the most awkward and insulting images of my own face.
Then stop posting your screencaps at noon on Friday, because that is when I will stop looking at them.
Then I will choose and contact the winners and send them mayonnaise in the regular mail, unless I can get Kevin Costner to dress as a postman and ride it over to your house on a mule, which would be my preference.
GOOD HUNTING, and GOOD RAGNAROK EVE TO YOU ALL.
That is all.
CONGRESS QUIZ: which member of Congress is a zippy grandmom from Connecticut with a funky style?
CONGRESS QUIZ: Which member of congress is a bike enthusiast from Portland, Oregon?
Canadioes, UKanders, and Scandinavies please note: JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK debuts on Netflix on 6/20 in YOUR COUNTRIES ALSO
ON DECEMBER 21, 2012, I gathered my followers to me at the Bell House in Brooklyn to await the end of the world.
JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK is the only document of that strange, apocalyptic evening, and it will debut as a NETFLIX ORIGINAL on June 20, 2013. And not just in the US, but in Canada, the UK, and in Scandinavia.
THIS ONE HOUR SPECIAL is directed by the great director MR. LANCE BANGS, and features comedy, mayonnaise, hockey instruction, tips on raising sperm whales on your home survival compound, plus beautiful music by Ms. CYNTHIA HOPKINS and a cameo appearance by that British sensation, LITTLE JOEL RONSON.
JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK is the culmination of a year of good times and doomsaying on stages across America. And if it does not document the actual end of the actual world, it does capture the very last moments of the half-true world I began inventing in 2005 with my bestselling book THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE.
IT WAS A STRANGE AND LOVELY NIGHT, and I am very proud to have captured it so beautifully on digital film. I hope very much you will consider watching it.
If desired, further optional instructions follow this brief preview of THE END THAT AWAITS US ALL:
FURTHER OPTIONAL INSTRUCTIONS
I hope you will forgive me if I am blunt. This show means a lot to me, both in itself, and as the completion of a project of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE that has been at the center of my creative life for almost a decade.
And I am incredibly grateful to NETFLIX for including it among their burgeoning slate of original programming because I AGREE WITH YOU. This is how TV, film, and comedy should and is going to be enjoyed: smart people curating great content in an ad free environment; artists cultivating their own audiences directly; and those audiences finding and enjoying the precise work they want on a schedule of their choosing.
That said, for all the many different ways we get our tele-transmissions these days, there are almost an equal number of different ways that artists and networks make money and remain viable.
I have said before: if you like a thing, you are under no obligation to do anything beyond simply like it.
However, if you want to see that thing continue… if you choose to go one step further and SUPPORT a thing with your dollars and eyeballs, it behooves you to know the way to buy or enjoy that thing in the way that helps that thing and its creator the most.
Network TV shows, for example, need you to watch live or on DVR within a few days in order to make up an audience that can be sold to advertisers that will ensure that show’s survival. Watching live TV is anathema to most modern humans (myself included), but it is the way that particular model functions. Downloading your favorite show—even paying money for it—nine months after it airs is great, but is not as meaningful to the survival of that show as you and all your friends watching it live.
Netflix, obviously, has a different model. So in the interests of mostly being clear and only a little bit mercenary, I offer this information:
-You are obviously under no obligation to watch RAGNAROK.
-If you watch it, I truly hope you enjoy it, but that is beyond my control.
-You are obviously under no obligation to support me or RAGNAROK.
-But I do hope that this special is a success. I enjoy live performance and see it as a major part of my ongoing career. It’s also a big part of how I support myself. And not least, I want to reward Netflix’s faith in me.
-So if you happen to be someone who likes my work in general, was probably planning to watch anyway, and wants to know the most helpful way to do so, here is what you can do:
-Subscribe to Netflix if you have not already done so.
-Find JOHN HODGMAN: RAGNAROK on June 20, 2013.
-Press play and let it stream through to the end. You may watch the whole thing if you like. But you do not have to. As I wrote in THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE, buying the book frees you from the obligation to read it. By pressing play and letting it stream through, you have already done enough.
-However, if you stop the playback, Netflix will know, and it will reflect poorly on me. So please, PRESS PLAY AND WALK AWAY.
-That said, I want RAGNAROK to stand on its own merits, and if you do not like it, by all means turn it off and throw your computer in the river.
LET ME REITERATE: I do not ASK you to do these things. I only want you to know HOW to help if that is your desire.
But most of all, I am very very grateful for all your continued support. I am glad the world did not end and you are all still alive.
I hardly know what to say except THANK YOU
and
THAT IS ALL.
Patton Oswalt | A CLOSED LETTER TO MYSELF ABOUT THIEVERY, HECKLING AND RAPE JOKES -
I missed this essay from @pattonoswalt on Friday about joke theft & heckling & rape DO NOT REPEAT MY MISTAKE
john @hodgman — metropolitan museum of art
Goodbye and thank you, Chicagoans. I am glad that your city actually exists.