RAGNAROK SURVIVAL KITS ARE NOW AVAILABLE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC
When the world unfortunately failed to end in 2012, as I had predicted in my Netflix Special RAGNAROK, I was not only heaped with shame but also SURPLUS RAGNAROK SURVIVAL KITS. Specifically, 500 of them.
I created these kits because it seemed that the safest way to pack and mail a RAGNAROK extended DVD would be to surround it with mayonnaise. This is LOGIC.
But then I realized I also wanted to include an engraved urine flask, a sample of my mustache DNA, my downloaded consciousness on a thumb drive, and a beautiful, non-ironic unisex fragrance that may be called “Sperm-Whale,” or “Whale” or “Sperm,” depending on how you read the rebus.
It was all designed by JESSICA HISCHE, who is a genius.
The mayonnaise is by our friends at EMPIRE MAYONNAISE here in Brooklyn.
The fragrance was designed to my totally non-joke specifications by DROM.
The urine flask is empty, but urine is easily made at home.
And remember the DVD I mentioned? It really exists, in hard copy, Omega-Pulse-Proof form, and it features not only ALL of RAGNAROK, but additional comedy by me, additional songs by Cynthia Hopkins, and appearances by Ira Glass and Andrew Sullivan and Tom Scharpling that sadly were cut from the Netflix edit for time.
And it all fits within a custom, hard-sided GO BAG, signed by me, and sealed and delivered by others. Delivery begins 12/17/13 with the holidays in mind.
Each kit costs $150 (shipping and tax not included), which covers my costs and a little more. I think it’s a fair price, but if you do not agree, you don’t have to buy it. I didn’t kickstart these kits. I just made them with my own money because I wanted them to exist, and I thought there might could be 500 people who agree with me. I hope that’s true.
If you agree, you may go to this link http://bit.ly/surviveragnarok.
There will only ever be 500 of them, and we have already sold 100 of them to the people who signed up for the MAILING LIST. So, you know:
ACT WITH A SPEED THAT IS REASONABLE FOR YOU AND COMMENSURATE WITH YOUR INTEREST.
In the meantime, all I can say is thank you, always,
THAT IS ALL.
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